Parenting Incongruence
I was just watching Wally on the baby monitor (it's a high tech video monitor that we got as a gift from the MSU drumline - so nice of them!). Sometimes he cries until he's fully awake and then I go comfort him and put him back to bed. Every now and then (including just now), I see him thrash around a bit and whimper, and then he calms himself down and falls back asleep. When that happens, I feel so proud of him and happy that he can get himself back to sleep, but then I also feel a little sad, like "does he think I won't come comfort him?" and "my baby is growing up!" Ah, I should just be thankful he's sleeping, right?!? Being a parent is weird sometimes!
We had one of those for the twins! We got it when Beth lifted the edge of her fitted sheet, climbed under it and got trapped. We couldn't hear her crying from way downstairs, but we could sure hear James screaming so finally went up to check...she was so red-faced and sweaty we felt horrible!! Later we also figured out how and why James was ending up in Beth's crib every morning. We thought it was all him, but after watching it "live" we saw that he would be peacefully laying in his crib, sucking his thumb, and Beth would be standing in her crib leaning toward him saying "James" over and over until finally he would get up, climb out of his crib and go climb up into hers haha. Enough of memory lane -- I'm kicking myself because the night before the open house I kept thinking I needed to text you and tell you to bring Wally's ear protectors, and then I thought - what if they can't come? I don't want them to feel badly if I text them to bring ear protectors! And then I promptly fell asleep (which is pretty typical of my late-night worries - I abandon them and remember them later). So anyway I saw the pic of you on the upstairs landing (I recognized Matt's mom's pictures, which are all over our house so that we don't have too many "family pictures" for showings) and it made me happy that you were comfortable even though I didn't get to see you! The twins requested the band and I knew it was a little weird but I was also so pleased that they weren't embarrassed by having their MOM play at their open house with all their friends there (you know how it is) - they said all their friends liked it! But I did feel a little badly for the grandpas and also for Wally who I'm sure would have preferred a more docile party... Anyway, this is way too long of a comment but I also kind of like communicating this way haha. And yes I know exactly that feeling of "aw they are growing up" but can also completely guarantee that you will have so many more moments of comforting and being needed (I know I don't have to say) - right now Michael has been texting me about something and I feel so good like yay he still needs me! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteHaha, that is so funny about Beth encouraging James; I can just see it in my mind's eye!
ReplyDeleteOh, and no worries about Sunday! I actually thought I had his headphones in the baby bag, but then when we got there, I realized I had cleaned out the baby bag a few days ago and taken stuff out so they weren't there (I should've checked before we left!). So, I felt bad that we didn't go down to watch the band at all, but we could hear you guys from the upstairs, and you sounded great! I love it that they requested that you play at their party! It was such a nice party!!
And that is so good to know that kids still need their mama even when they're "grown up" :) :) :)